writers connection

art by Wave WC 

Mercoledi’ 20 Giugno 2007 

Dalle ore 20.00
HIP HOP AUTOSTOP:
THX 1138 at the controlz
jazzy hip hop Audio/video skratch set.

ONLY HIP HOP FUNK JAZZ ON VINYL LPs & 45s!!! no garbage MP3s or CDs!

presso 

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Mess-ages From The Funkateerz:

First mess-age:

THE FUNK WARS (1984 B.C.) 

FUNKADELIC "IN FUNK WE TRUST" – ONE NATION UNDER A GROOVE (Rhythm & Business) –

Funkadelic By Law No.19
"It is better to open your eyes and say you don’t understand…than to close your eyes and say you don’t believe…" (O.J. Rodney, chi-78)

THE FUNK WARS (1984 B.C.)
(ONCE UPON A TIME… in a faraway parallel universe, existed a intergalactic humbug between the forces of GOOD and EVILE’ and on Planet Splurge, FUNK become the FORCE to alter the cosmos beyond the limits of time and dimension!)
JASPER SPATIC was finished with his new weapon, and the outcome of the negafunkatic FUNK WARS would hinge on its power. His Throb Gun would be used against the evilous BARFT VADA, the ruthless fuzzident of the enslaving MEDULLA OBLUNGATA DOODOOS. Armed with stinkafyng Dookie Sticks Blight Sabers, the DooDoos kept the population of several planets under their rule. Now – Jasper prepared to unite with his Funkadelican DooDoo Chasers; he could not risk being ambushed by a Dookie Squad and being fried  by their seething volleys of pissgun rays…
SPATIC stepped into the streets, his creation carefully hidden. He shuddered as he scoped everyone under DooDoo Syndrome. Vada’s massive program of mind control had constipated the masses…their minds were being zero’d out by constipated notions. Electric crinkloidism and advertising propaganda combined with drugnotics (woo drinks, devil dust, Ps’ & Poos, Deludes and profile pills)…the unaware Splurgians were rapidly losing their funkativity!
But Jasper Spatic and his fellow DooDoo Chasers were impervious to the D.D.S. and through the Funkadelican scruples of ‘Prune Juice of the Mind’…would the people be refunked into toppling Barft Vada’s Empire. The DooDoo Chasers would strike at the first D’ Voidofunk Disco, where BARFT VADA was sure to be present. (Vada’s disco ban of ’82, enacted to prevent the now-illegal music of FUNKADELICA from deprogramming the population – gave his DooDoo scientists to perfect a diszak system to mantain  mental constipation.) Agents from S.I.A. (Sick Intelligence Agency) and Dookie Squads within the disco were unaware of the DooDoo Chasers who had merged into the crowds. They awaited for the first notes of diszak for the cue-vamp. Jasper glanced at a co-patriot, heliotart Pussooka Goodee and secretly flashed the ‘P’ for their uniting motto: "Give us funkativity or give us death!"
The noxious Barft entered Disco Control and the defunkatizing drone of diszak filled the blaflammic discosphere. Jasper whipped out  his Throb Gun and the vampin’ spat shattered the diszak booth. Other funkateers zapped the Dookie Squads with funkguns, and seized a strategic location to circuit-override the sound system and the neoburpic diszak sounds retrofired into funkastomping octave throbs! "No compute, no compute!" shrieks the smoking headsets of the blastified dooDoos…without Vada’s commanding audio-stench, they were nullified. Barft vada fled to his everready pimpajet and scamped into the dark void as the masses were ‘P’ed from their cerebral nods into revolt. The DooDoo Chasers had overfunked the system into collapse!
Planet Splurge had soon become ONE NATION UNDER A GROOVE and the forces of Funkadelica prevailed. As the happy populations of other planets rejoiced with their liberation…Jasper and Pussooka were crashatated at their crazoid crib, sooted by the Clintonic sonic waves of the spankatron box…but even the spekled sugarness of Pussooka swoop n’ cup curvables did not remove Jasper’s new fear: would Vada return with more Constipated Notions? Worse yet, would the Dookie-Sticked defunkulator ambush some other galaxy and enslave yet another population? Before slipperous and bubbly waves of strokativity funked him from his mental station-I.D….Jasper pondered the thought of what would happen the next time…when a planet’s mentor would warn citizens of Barft Vada’s presence with: THINK! IT AIN’T ILLEGAL YET! – Would they wake up in time?

Dall’ lp: Funkadelic "One Nation Under A Groove" 1978

Second Mess-age:

FUNKATEERZ
funk.cyclo.pedia

dal web di George Clinton http://www.georgeclinton.com/
http://www.georgeclinton.com/htmlversion/gc/funkateer_funkcyclopedia.htm    

Aquaboogie:
underwater throwdown; magic rythm for splanking noses

Around da way
From the neighborhood. "From around the way"

Big Bang Theory:
Funk set the universe in motion; ignition by Funk. Ain’t nothin’ but a party in a Black Hole

Black Hole:
Prime zone of Funkativity, nappy dogout, home to Star Child. Celestial body which suckulates the unfunky deep into its chocolaty centre

Bop Gun:
Dr. Funkenstein’s greatest invention – one blast capable of splanking the funkless. The Star Child zaps Sir Nose D’VoidofFunk with the Bop Gun and Nose dances to the rythm of the flashlight.

Children of Production:
Clones of Dr. Funkenstein, come to blow the cobwebs out your mind

Clone Funk:
Joyful process by which Funkenstein creates in his own image Afronauts capable of funkatizing galaxies

Cosmic Slop:
Dancing with the Devil to pay your bills

Cro-nasal Sapiens:
The missing stink. Elephantinesnouted prehistoric ancestors of Sir Nose

Dr. Funkenstein:
Mad’glad scientist, master technician of Clone Funk; outer space tribal leader of the descendants of the Thumpasorus Peoples

Downstroke:
Standing on the verge of the Beat; a march to the rear towards the Final Splank

Ego Munchies:
All-night crazoid craving for pure egotronic unsatisfunktion

Electric Spank:
High-tech pimping of human instincts by the power brokers/jokers that be

Flashlight:
Funk-flesh artillery of the Bop Gun

Funk:
Used to be a bad word. Irre-ducible essential pulse, life force, hyperventilatin’ Groove. Not only moves, it can re-move; will sit and sit and never go sour. "If you got Funk, you got style"

Funkadelica:
Throbassonic realm where nothing is good unless you play with it and all that is good is nasty

Funkentelechy:
Force by which Funk gets stronger. Shot with the Bop Gun, the funkatized are driven toward the attainment of the P-Funk by their own revitalized juices

G-funk:
Gangsta funk. Examples: Snoop Doggy Dogg, Warren G & Nate Dog.

George Clinton:
One of the most sampled men alive, creator of the P-Funk.

Honey Dip:
pretty young ladies with golden brown complexions

Maggot Brain:
State of mind and then the condition and position of your ass ("Free your mind and your ass will follow"). When you just say "Funk it!" and rise above a spankic situation

Mothership:
Outer space chariot bearing Star Child and Funkenstein back to Earth when it deserves a global splanking

Motor Booty Affair:
Bootyful funktion in downtown Atlantis where you can swim past reality behind a clock’s back without getting wet. Ritualistic method of finding the One

Mr. Wiggles The Worm:
Subaquatic, ultrasonic, semibionic Clone of Dr. Funkenstein

The One:
The First Beat; wholeness, metafoolish perfection, as in "Everything is on the One"

One Nation:
Empire of the Groove, collective cathartic mass motor-vation

P.Funk (aka The P.):
Pure, uncut Funk, the Bomb; also Parliament-Funkadelic

Pinocchio Theory:
If you fake the Funk, your nose will grow

Placebo Theory:
Jivation through logic; how Noses everywhere spread fake Funk in place of the P., driving humans into perpetual do-loop or deep snooze

Pleasure Principle:
Pre-spanking self-satisfunktion

Rumpofsteelskin:
Bumpnoxious undersea avatar of Sir Nose

Sir Nose D’VoidofFunk (a.k.a. The Nose, Old Smell-o-Vision):
Putrified purveyor of of the Placebo Syndrome. Extended probosics from faking Funk. He’s cool but has no groove; won’t swim, sweat or dance

Splank:
Use of Funk to free minds and behinds from constipated notions; anti-spank

Star Child (alias The Long-Haired Sucker, Sir Lollipop Man):
Official representative of Funkentelechy; protector of the Pleasure Principle. Cosmic John the Bop-tist, arch-recording angel heralding the arrival of Dr. Funkenstein

Law of Supergroovalisticprosifunkstication:
Give the people what they want when they want and they wants it all the time

Thumpasorus Peoples:
Prehistoric ancestors of Star Child and Dr. Funkenstein; also hardcore funkateers

Woo:
Temptation without representation for purposes of pimpation

Zone of Zero Funkativity (better known as The Nose Zone):
Home to Sir Nose; region of snoozation

End of mess-ages